The moment a toddler's bath transforms into a biological hazard approximately 4 minutes after you've finally gotten comfortable on the bathroom floor. Characterised by suspicious stillness, sudden concentration, and a look of complete contentment on the perpetrator's face.
I was two sips into my wine and fully relaxed when the poo jacuzzi activated and we had to do a full emergency decontamination of the entire bathroom.
To fully commit to a chaotic, inadvisable, or slightly unhinged course of action - not because it's a good idea, but because the energy of the moment demands it. Cannot be done half-heartedly.
It was a school night, I had no business opening a second bottle, but we were absolutely skewing with it and I regret nothing.
The art of making yourself completely presentable using only a sink, a flannel, some deodorant, and sheer confidence. Not a shower. Not even close. But you emerge clean enough, and honestly? Sometimes better for it.
Absolutely no time for a shower before school pickup so I did a whore's bath in the bathroom at the servo and I looked incredible.
The category of household tasks, life logistics, and emotional processing that can only be effectively completed while holding a glass of wine. Includes: school emails, difficult conversations, online shopping, and meal planning.
I've got three forms to fill in, a passive aggressive text to draft, and a grocery order to do - full wine admin evening tonight.
Submit it below. The official committee (us) will review, validate, and potentially immortalise it forever.